Each and Every Penny Will Be Used to Support Nihilistic Activity

| May 15, 2009

I am sick of working for a living. I just want to stay home and play with Photoshop all day long. I also need money for a new laptop. Frederick wants a new guitar, El Serracho needs a new bike and The CultureGhost could use some new lenses for his camera.

Therefore, we have decided to launch the inaugural Guys From Area 51 Fund Drive.

Do your part and contribute to the Fab Four!

Seriously, we really do need your money. Our general uselessness has been flowing free of charge for almost two years now. But in these dismal economic times, it's getting harder and harder to blog for free, knowing that we are being used by our readers for a cheap five-second thrill. But the promise of cold hard cash can keep our creative juices flowing. You don't want to shut off our tap now, do you?

Hell, other blogs solicit for handouts all the time - so why can't we???

That's right - the A-list and B-list stay-at-home-bloggers have been fundraising for years. Now we’ve decided that it’s time to join game. Asking for money doesn’t bother us one bit. In fact, we love doing it so much, there are times Frederick and El Serracho daydream about running a 24-hour cable channel devoted to telethons. We also understanding that fundraising - and blogging, for that matter - is one of the most defeatist acts we could ever do. Knowing you're going to fail but doing it anyway is the heart of defeatism.

If you can't afford to send us cash, then send whatever you have - your dad’s old golf clubs, burned out light bulbs, used batteries, copper piping. Hell, we’ll even take the asbestos from your ceiling.

But if we do not receive $10,000 in cash or goods by 12pm on Friday, May 22 The Guys From Area 51 will abandon this site forever and never blog again - and you will only have your miserly self to blame.